Funny Strange, by Lori Culwell

My Husband is Hilarious, and also-- Tame Impala

Last weekend, while trying to remember the name of the band "Tame Impala":

<Tame Impala song "(It Feels Like) We Only Go Backwards" comes on.>   Here is the song, which is quite good, in case you are not familiar with the band.

Stephan:  "This is a good song.  What is the name of this band...."

Me:  "Please to guess.  It will be funny."

Stephan:  "Sleeping Panther....Slow Gazelle.....Money in the Mugshots."

Me:  "No.  Keep going.  It's funny."

Stephan:  "Laxative Joe"

Me:  "I can't believe there is not a band called that."

Stephan:  "The Smoking Ibaxes.    Rad Gazelle.   Lavalamp and the Afternoon Delights."

Me:  "No, no, and no."

Stephan:  "Seriously, what the f^&k is the name of that band?"

Me:  "I am not telling you, because I want to see what else you'll come up with."

Stephan:  "Fat Leopard.  Gaggle of Monkeypants.  Glowfish."

Me:  "Yes, it definitely contains the word 'Monkeypants.'

Stephan:  TAME IMPALA!  IT'S TAME IMPALA.

Me:  "I'm almost sad you thought of that."

 

Haagen Daz "Straciatella" commercial (short)-- a little like a prank call

Last night I went to the Effie awards, where a campaign that I work on won a silver! It was an awesome night, and I sat with a bunch of fun people who are also in the advertising / marketing industries (and so, who also have opinions about every single piece of advertising/ marketing they see).

During dinner we concocted a totally hilarious campaign for re-branding the sausage industry, complete with a bunch of slogans. I will have to check my notes to see if that is still funny now that I'm no longer feeling the effects of Cipriani's delicious filet mignon and a wait-staff that was a little too eager to keep my wine glass constantly filled. To continue on with the "I critique advertising" theme, here is a commercial that I saw recently that I think misses the mark, and by that I mean when I see it, I start thinking about the commercial and forget/ don't care about the actual product. This commercial is for Haagen Daz's new gelato.  I think you'll agree that it is a little...aggressive.

OK, first of all: MOUTHS. Up close mouths. Mouths that are so close, I feel like it's going to turn into this word pronunciation game from the Electric Company, only it's frustrating because I don't know what word they are going for (I actually do know that straciatella means chocolate chip, because that is my favorite kind of gelato, but that's beside the point). For some reason, the way these actors over pronounce the word also reminds me of a Dracula movie, or maybe of this weird character from the Twilight movies. Just imagine him saying "Stra-cia-tellllll-a."

Here's a Brochure About Penile Self-Injection. Let's Talk About It.

So, I was at the lady doctor the other day (get over it, women have to go every year), and while I was on the way out, I noticed a wall of totally hilarious brochures.  I’m sorry, I know I’m supposed to be a grownup, but something about this one in particular is so funny to me, I was compelled to scan it and deconstruct for our amusement.

First of all, why is there even a brochure for penile self-injection at my lady doctor’s office?   As far as I know, they don’t even treat men there at all.    So—is this for your male significant other?   I kind of feel like, if you’re having problems in that area, isn’t there a blue pill for that situation, and couldn’t there have been a brochure about that in the doctor’s office rather than this one, which is for a totally personal, invasive, and SUPER PAINFUL procedure?   YIKES.  DOUBLE YIKES!   Is this even my business?  I feel like this brochure was erroneously put there by someone who also stocks the urologist’s office, like this is not even something I should know about.   I don't know that it is ever appropriate for someone else to ask you to inject your own penis, know what I mean?

Also, why is the white-haired guy on the cover of this brochure depicted in such a chipper way when he is holding a needle that he will soon be injecting into his penis?   I just don’t think I buy this narrative.  Like, were they having a conversation about penis malfunction, and the doctor mentioned penis injection, and the guy was just kind of, FINE WITH IT?  I’m sorry, that is the look on his face, like “Sure, hand me that needle, and I will stick it willingly into my junk!”

Stephan calls this brochure “strangely executed and conceptually horrifying,” and claims that every man who reads this post will instinctively cover their male areas when they read the words “penile self-injection.”

 

 

 

If those words don’t make you cover up, maybe this next photo will do it.  Sweet mother of crap OH MY GOD THAT NEEDLE LOOKS REALLY SHARP RUN FOR YOUR LIFE.   Why is the text that goes with this graphic so nonchalant?  I think “Insert the needle all the way into the spongy tissue of your penis” should at least be italicized and or in ALL CAPS, DON’T YOU THINK?   That shit looks PAINFUL. 

Under complications, I notice that they do not include “STICKING A NEEDLE IN YOUR PENIS.’

I’m sorry, the whole thing just seems uncivilized to me, and too much to ask.  Not cool!   Sticking a needle in your junk should be YOUR CHOICE, and no one should pressure you into that kind of thing.

Just say no, men!  No one wants you to do this to yourselves!   Keep that needle away from your spongy tissue!

 

 

 

Finally, here is the picture on the back of the brochure, presumably meaning to indicate that this gentleman has injected himself in the penis (OUCH), they have done the deed, and now he is laughing hysterically.  Again, I am not believing the realness of this scenario.  

And with that, I will apologize for traumatizing you on this beautiful Wednesday.   Oh, should I have said that this whole post was NOT SAFE FOR WORK or really, anywhere else?   Now you're with me on being traumatized.

"How to Become a Lawyer" and Other Awesome Things: Behold, a Channel!

BY LORI CULWELL

I know you know that Stephan and I are always working on interesting side projects, and I thought I would finally tell you about one of them today.  It's called "Three Minute Summaries," and with it, we've combined almost all of our skills-- my ability to research, write, and summarize large concepts, Stephan's skill as a VO guy and director,  and the fact that we have many successful, career-professional type friends that could tell us how they got to where they are (plus some added SEO stuff).   We started putting these animations up a couple of months ago, and the response has been so positive, we're working on a bunch more.   If you have requests for careers/ skills that you would like to see covered, feel free to let me know!

 

We also have a website and Facebook for the project, of course.   Please share with teachers, students, or anyone else you think might benefit from them!   

Saturday Night Live "Top of the Pops": Name That Musician!

So, you probably know that this years' Saturday Night Live finale was the last show for Fred Armisen and Bill Hader.  Seth Meyers is supposed to be doing half of next season, then replacing Jimmy Fallon when he moves to the Tonight Show.

Here is the song that Armisen and friends peformed for this send-off:

 

 

In case you're curious, here are the musicians on stage with Armisen, in order of appearance.  In typical music nerd style, we have identified the musicians, their respective bands, and the guitars they are playing.    

-- On stage in the beginning:  Fred Armisen as lead singer/ guitarist (we thought this might have been a Silvertone he was playing, but now we think it's a custom guitar).   Jason Sudekis on drums, Bill Hader is on Fender P-bass, and Taran Killen on a Gibson Batwing.

-- At the 1:49 mark, Armisen says "I've got some friends of mine," and then Carrie Brownstein and Steve Jones come in.   In case you don't know, Carrie Brownstein is Fred Armisen's best friend, former member of Sleater Kinney (of course) and his co-star in Portlandia, and Steve Jones is famous for being in the Sex Pistols and for generally being a character.   Steve Jones is playing a Gibson Les Paul, and Brownstein is playing a Gibson Batwing.   The next wave of people to come in are J Mascis (from Dinosaur Jr), who is playing his signature Jazzmaster, plus Kim Gordon (from Sonic Youth) on tamborine (and rocking the gold lame), Aimee Mann on a Gibson Acoustic Hummingbird, and (this just in):  Michael Penn, husband of Aimee Mann, behind Bill Hader.  

The other noteworthy event in this song is at the 2:41 mark, where someone obviously steps on the fuzz face and you really start to hear J Mascis' awesome guitar solo on that Jazzmaster.

Oh, did you not think I would soak up some guitar knowledge after 15 years being married to a musician?  That's where you're wrong.  I am also currently a little obsessed with this music blog and the show on Sirius XM that goes with it.   You go, Aquarium Drunkard!