Last Thursday, in a bit of "passing conversation in the lobby of my building, " one of my new neighbors informed me that my apartment, up until we moved in last month, was inhabited by not one, not two, but three coked-out Asian prostitutes. It always seemed suspicious, she said, because the three girls clearly weren't "roommates" living in a one bedroom apartment. Apparently they had so many gentleman callers, they taped the front door of the building open so the guys wouldn't have to call upstairs to get buzzed in (no pun intended). Six weeks ago, as rumor has it, there was a big raid, complete with cops, flashing lights, and handcuffs for the hookers. The building management apparently spent four days cleaning the place, and then rented it to us. Good times.
This makes me wonder several things:
1. Where was the pimp in this operation? I was not aware that hookers could operate without some kind of supervision. Were these freelance hookers? Fascinating.
2. How did all three of them, PLUS clients, fit in my apartment? We feel bad leaving the dog at home because he might feel "cooped up." Also, wouldn't a nice massage parlor have been a better, less expensive option?
3. How come the hookers never get any mail? If you're a hooker, does this mean you just don't bother with PG & E? Do they have a hooker exemption?
4. Isn't there some law that requires building management to at least MENTION what went on in your apartment just days before you move in? This reminds me of an article I read recently about people moving into houses that used to be meth labs, but that they didn't know were former meth labs because, in fact, there is no law requiring that you inform people that their new residence used to house something illegal. So, those people are now living in former superfund sites, and I'm living in what used to be "Madame Chang's House of Sin."
Really, I thought the place had sort of a sexy vibe, but this is ridiculous. By the way, to everyone who is about to email me in outrage, let me just clarify now. The woman in the photo is not, to my knowledge, a prostitute, nor does she have any relation to any illegal activity occuring in my building prior to June 15th, 2005. She is cute, though. Maybe she should come work in my building.
