I Think I Would Go With "Boobz"

Yesterday I was at a corner and saw a sign for a "Gentlemen's Club" called SilverReign.  I never noticed it before, perhaps because of its exceedingly classy name and signage.  This made me think-- I wonder how many gentlemen are actually driving around, looking for a gentlemen's club, and totally miss that one because it's not called something obvious like "World of Boobs!"    I mean, why beat around the bush (so...to....speak)?  Then I started thinking, it's probably not legal to call your place of business that, even though it would totally get you alot more customers, because it would make property values go down to have a club next door called "Mad Boobs in Your Face!" or something like that.  The BadaBing! and "Jumbo's Clown Room" are two good examples of strip club names that sound pretty much like what they are (dank, dirty, filled with skanky girls).  In fact, when I was in college I heard about a strip club in the area called "Captain Creams," which is, I think, a little too far in the other direction. There must be a middle ground between "What the hell is that place?" and "Oh my God a strip club just moved into the neighborhood." 

Don't get me wrong-- I don't morally object to strip bars or anything.  I just think it's a little sad that no one ever told those girls that they could be lawyers.   I'm just saying, I bet the Hustler Gentlemen's Club  or Tens take in more money than SilverReign, just on name alone. 

Here are some humorous strip club names I found during a cursory search of the internets.  I found a  list that's pretty great-- it made me laugh out loud more than once.   I do find  it a little odd that out of this whole list, there's an inordinately large number of strip clubs called "Deja Vu."  Is that because you're having essentially the same experience every time you go there?  Just wondering.  There's one in Van Nuys that's just called "Strippers," which I think is the funniest.  Because just put it out there, you know?    Don't mince words.

Here are some names I thought were winners:

1.  4 Play
Funny-- maybe they play alot of Prince songs there.

2.  Spearmint Rhino Gentlemen's Cabaret
um....this sounds like absurdist French theater to me.

3.  Bare Elegance
Fantastic trashy name, AND it's in Inglewood-- you know the girls there have one tooth.

4.  California Girls Night Club
Decent name, but it's in Santa Ana.  That's right-- a strip club for strippers who couldn't make it in LA.  $3 lap dances, anyone?

5.  Star Strip Too
Not bad--sounds a little like it was named by someone for whom English was not a first language

6.  Valley Ball Cabaret: 
Sounds like they were trying to fit the words "Ball" and "Cabaret" into a name, and they really wanted the meeting about the name to be over.

7.  Bare N' Legal. 
Just....oh my God.  "Yeah, I live in the apartment complex down the street from the Bare N' Legal...."

8.   Golddiggers Gentlemen's Club.
Again, you have to respect the fact that they just put it out there like that. 

9.  Sam's HofBrau
Misleading-- there is a real chance you could go there for a nice lunch with your business colleagues, and end up totally embarrassed.

10. Hollywood East
In La Puente.  Now that's east.

I think just from this list, I have to say my favorite is "Lusty Lady" in San Francisco.   Maybe I'm just old-fashioned when it comes to strip club names.

Click here if you want to see the list-- but, don't click it at work.
 

Comments

[Rachel]

Um, so I clicked "the list" at work. Now I'm going to have to delete my page history.

If I ever open a strip club, I am DEFINITELY calling it "Mad Boobs In Your Face!" And I will include the exclamation point.

[Lori Culwell]

Yeah, sorry-- just realized. I moved it to the bottom, with a warning.

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