Is this a dagger which I see before me, The handle toward my hand?

Are you following this O.J. Simpson thing?  They've let him out on bail, but they've added "kidnapping with a deadly weapon" to his list of charges, and they're saying that he might have to do 35 years for this sports memorabilia robbery thing in Vegas.

The only logical conclusion to be drawn from this bizarre chain of events is that O.J. Simpson is our modern-day version of Macbeth, only without the Lady Macbeth behind him spurring him on (because, um, he killed her)>

Go with me on this-- here's a man so ambitious and talented that he crushes everything in his path.  He succeeds at a sport where the odds are so astronomical, it's not even funny.  He breaks into tv and film.  He's a world famous celebrity.  He gets to the top of his game, then kills his wife and gets away with it, thus ensuring that he has his money, his kids, and his Heisman trophy.   The Brown and Goldman families win the civil case against him, so he's found LIABLE for the murders, but ingeniously moves to Florida so the families can never collect on the $ 35 million dollar verdict.  He's 60 years old, which means all he has to do is sit back, chip golf balls until his arthritis won't allow it, sign autographs, AND KEEP HIS MOUTH SHUT.   It's this last part that's giving him the trouble, see?  That's what makes him like Macbeth.  He's home free, only he is clearly unable to live with the burden of his conscience.

This is when it really starts to resemble Shakespeare.  For you see, Simpson is crushed by the weight of his actions.  It doesn't matter what the jury says-- he knows what happened that night, and his continued and eternal silence is too high a price to pay for his life.  His subconscious mind (or his conscience, if you'd prefer) begins to creack under the pressure.  He is desperate for punishment.

First, he teams with Judith Regan to write a semi-fictional, thinly veiled confessional book called "If I Did It."  He knows he can't collect any money from the proceeds of the book because of that law which orders the proceeds go to the victims families, so why even get involved in a project like this? 

Because he needs to confess, that's why.  In one portion of an interview to promote the book, taped before the project was canceled, Regan says to Simpson, "You wrote, 'I have never seen so much blood in my life.'" Simpson responds, "I don't think any two people could be murdered without everybody being covered in blood."

I mean, JUST LOOK AT THE BOOK COVER, dude.  The "if" is so small, it's barely even there.  O.J. Simpson WANTS YOU TO KNOW THAT HE DID IT, OK?  Getting out of his forced prison of silence will finally set him free.

The book is stifled, though.  Protest groups are in an uproar, the book is pulled, Judith Regan is fired and disgraced.  Again the psychic burden shifts back to Simpson, and he finds that he cannot live with it, so he takes a GUN to LAS VEGAS, a city more saturated with video cameras and other recording devices then any other in the nation.  He commits SEVEN felonies in the span of five minutes, including ARMED KIDNAPPING.

So, this pretty much speaks for itself.  He can't live with himself, and somehow, he's going to make sure he pays for those crimes.  He knows he's guilty and he's cheated the system, and so he has, either deliberately or unconsciously, ended up exactly where he feels he deserves to be-- serving 35 years in prison. 

Also, I'm guessing that for the first time since 1995, he's getting a good night's sleep.    Crazy! 

Comments

[Rachel]

OJ Simpson is 60 years old? Damn.

[Katie]

Dude, this is genius. I didn't even see the connection, but I think you're totally right!

I hope he ends up in prison with a large, unforgiving roommate. (Like that's EVER going to happen, but a girl can dream, right?)

[Ashley Powell]

Lori, this is at once hilarious, insightful AND so true... nice work! Keep 'em coming, your blogs are one of the highlights of my day!