If there is a more sadly ironic song than "Rehab," I would like to hear it. Because really, when they tried to make her go to rehab, she should've said "Yes, please." Then maybe she wouldn't be wandering around the street, teeth missing, her crack-addled body covered only by a pair of jeans likely purchased in the children's section of TopShop, as well as a red bra. Really, I can't even listen to Winehouse's music anymore, because her voice just reminds me of the fact that she has all that talent, and that she's just pissing it away.
Speaking of pissing it away, Oh My God did you hear about Britney Spears' 16 year old pregnant sister? Wow, now THAT's a good sister-- taking all the heat off of Britney like that. Because frankly, the pregnant teenage star of a Nickelodeon show is going to throw the paparazzi off of Britney's antics for a decent amount of time, like maybe long enough for her to pull herself together. Just kidding. I am actually completely shocked that the powers that be over at Nickelodeon didn't whip a black-ops style kidnapping on her, just to "take care of the problem," if you know what I mean. Because there's big money in that image, man! Moms all over the world are now having to explain to their kids why "Zoey 101" is knocked up. You KNOW this would never happen to one of the High School Musical kids, right? Not a chance.
You know that mom already has the last kid on a plane to military school, right? Because that is just SCANDALOUS. I mean, we know they're white trash, but you'd think that all that money and power would give you some common sense. Just....wow. And I thought Jessica Alba was bad. Also to be filed under "surprising" is the fact that a Christian publisher has "indefinitely delayed" Lynne Spears' Christian child-rearing book, because clearly no one wants her advice anymore. Ouch.