Dear Internet,

Flu Watch: Day Seven (yes, SEVEN). Still going. Um, isn't the flu supposed to go away in 3 - 10 days? I thought when they said that they were just being conservative. The fever came back last night, so I still haven't had the "24 hour fever free" period that indicates you're done with the flu. What the HELL? I'm almost out of pre-written posts, too. Here's one that was written on Monday night, before I was overtaken by the virus.

An Open Letter to the Internet Is there something you've been hiding from me?  How come you never told me that, instead of listening to me drone on and on, day after day about weird people, and made up words, and jobs I wouldn't want, that what you really wanted to see was GAY VEGETARIAN TOURS OF LOS ANGELES?

Internet, this can be the only reason why traffic to this blog MORE THAN DOUBLED on the day I posted that tour, far surpassing any amount of traffic ever seen here before, setting a personal blog-history record for me, even surpassing that day, that fateful day, when someone over at TMZ ran a piece about a book I wrote that supposedly pissed someone off.   Yes, I'm talking about THAT much traffic, coming to read all about how you can get a massage at a spa, then go to Real Food Daily or Toast, then dance your gay head off with your arms above your head at The Factory. 

Really, internet?  Instead of articles, and websites, and novels, and non-fiction books, and more websites, and theater reviews, and book reviews, and fashion show reviews, what you really wanted me to be writing was GAY VEGETARIAN TOUR GUIDES?

You know what?  I don't even care why they came.  I'm just happy they did.  Check back next week for another fantastic tour!

By the way, I've now watched all of Season One of "The Wire." I get it! It's a good show. I ordered Season Two, just in case my Freak Flu decides to go the whole ten days.