Disc Four: Time Life Classic Rock Collection

Yes, we're still on this.  Actually, this has been ready to go for awhile, but I was saving it for a special occasion, like going on a business trip and being crazed with work in New York for a week.  You know how I get.  So, here you go--

 

1 Ride Like The Wind Christopher Cross.  This one is staying on the list despite my lukewarmness on Christopher Cross.  However, we’re going to require that you watch this hilarious SCTV clip that parodies Michael McDonald’s totally distinguishable vocals in the background. 

 

2 Saturday In The Park

Chicago

.  Stephan is on the fence about this one.  It’s kind of a story song, and the lyrics are very bad.  If you can just focus on the music itself and tune out the lyrics, you might be fine.  Steph’s cousin said of this song:   “We played this song in band in the seventh grade (he played sax).  I never felt more like Charlie Parker.”  Bottom line:  it stays on the list, but it’s just a little too much sugar and not enough vinegar.

3 Sister Golden Hair

America

.  This is one of the songs of

America

’s that Stephan actually likes.  It’s really a song about a guy who couldn’t go through with his wedding, but it’s not too on the nose, and it leaves the story behind in favor of good music--- it’s almost literary.   There’s ambiguity in this song, and it has a great beat.  Oh, also—Sister Golden Hair Surprise sounds like the # 3 on a Chinese menu.  Just had to say it.
 
4 You're So Vain Carly Simon.  We’re not putting this song on the list because it sucks a little bit, but I do have to mention that the other day Stephan was at the grocery store and this song came on the Muzac, and one produce-stocker guy turned to the other guy and said “This song—“You’re so vain—you probably think this song is about you, it’s totally confusing.  I mean—he’s not vain.  The song IS about him.”  The only thing that possibly redeems this song is the fact that Mick Jagger does the backing vocals, but it still doesn’t make the list. 

5 If Bread.  Really?  More Bread?  See above.  Also, Stephan’s cousin (who shall not be named here), says of Bread:  “Bread is kind of consistently creepy, though in an almost understated way. Basically, Bread embodies the evils of the era. Kind of like an ethnomusicological eucharist.” 

6 Ooh Baby Baby Linda Ronstadt.  Yep.  This is a good song.

7 Him Rupert Holmes.  Just—oh my God.  Again, Rupert Holmes is the genius behind the “Pina Colada” song.  Need I say more?   

8 You Are The Woman Firefall.  This song is like an “average” of all the really good songs of the 1970’s, but there’s really no “there” there, if you know what I mean.  They’ve taken a lot of good parts of seventies rock, but maybe not the right ones, and combined them to produce something extremely….lackluster.

9 All I Need Jack Wagner.  This song kills me, because not only is it from 1984, but it’s just, like, Jack Wagner’s song about how he’s trying to stall his girlfriend at the time because he wants to cheat on her some more before he marries her, which by the way, he did, then he married her, and now he’s dating Heather Locklear.  Yeah, that Jack Wagner.  Why do I know all this?  Because Jack Wagner and his ex-wife were both on

General

Hospital

, a show my mom’s friend used to watch.  So there you go.

10 Walking In

Memphis

Marc Cohn.  Time Life, padding the list.  This song came out in 1991, and although it IS a decent song, I just don’t see the connection between late 70’s rock and this. 

11 Making Love Out Of Nothing At All Air Supply.   See above comments on Air Supply.

12 I Want To Know What Love Is Foreigner.  The more rocking of the Foreigner songs are better.  And also?  These lyrics are trite.  Phil Gramm guy knows what love is.  He doesn’t need you to show him.  He’s been on tour for so many years, he probably has some totally specific sexual compulsions.  I’m just going to leave it at that. 

More songs that Time Life has slipped in under the auspices that they are "inspired by the seventies."  I beg to disagree, but I thought the list might make you laugh. 

13 The Living Years Mike and the Mechanics

14 Drive The Cars

15 One More Night Phil Collins

16 I'll Be There The Escape Club