And so this is Facebook.....

So, I'm sure you know, I'm all about Facebook now, whereas last year I was using MySpace, which I think has now turned into some cipher of marketing people marketing to other people.  I still have an account there because it's a decent way to contact me if you read my book or want to ask me a question about how to become a writer, but I'm trying to use Facebook more now because it seems like a higher-quality application, and because I actually do know most of the 300 or so people that I have as "Friends" on there.

But, here's the thing.  Facebook is, like, a one-stop shop where you can get status reports and see pictures, potentially, of people you've known over every period in your entire life.  Of course, the internet is the great equalizer, so it's brought together people you knew from the 3rd grade, people you know from work now, and people you knew when, say, you were a 17 year old idiot with the emotional capacity of celery, or a 21 year old college student....well, you get the picture.  Facebook is 95% good, and 5% opening up chapters of your life where you didn't feel so great about yourself, and that you might not want to revisit, and sometimes that can be good because it makes you feel better about things in the past and get some closure, and sometimes you'd rather just not revisit periods in your life when you felt bad, you know?

And, file this under "Facebook weirdness," I've already had to break it to someone OVER FACEBOOK that my mom passed away in 2003, after she innocently wrote on my Facebook Wall "Hey-- great to see you, how's your mom?"   Yiiiikes.   In that case, I just felt really bad for her, since she'd only just gotten on Facebook the day before, and didn't know anything about it.   So, there's an example of how something cool like Facebook can turn into real-life hurt feelings and weirdness.   Like I said, 95% awesome.....5% not so much. 

Then, there's a whole 'nother category of Facebook weirdness-- people that you know, and ordinarily you'd "friend" everyone you know in Facebook land, but for whatever reason, you are not friending them, and they are not friending you, because whatever went on between you during the time that you knew them is just too much to revisit, and maybe the last time you saw that person, you were like "I never want to see you again" and you were TOTALLY SERIOUS.  You never thought you would see them again, and so when they suddenly popped up on Facebook with pictures of themselves and funny comments on other people's walls who you can see because you have mutual friends, you're like "NO, NO, NO!"   In fact, when you mention this person to Stephan, who also knows the person, Stephan says "If that person tries to friend me, I AM QUITTING FACEBOOK."  

And, really, it's not that you're wishing harm to that person.  You're happy that person has pulled it together and has a normal life.  It's just that the life-chapter for that person is closed, has no sequel, and is not open for discussion.  So, you remain, Facebook avoiding each other, perhaps in perpetuity, as if you were both at a cocktail party and stubbornly remained on opposite sides of the room.   Facebook is kind of like that cocktail party, or maybe like a microcosm of your life.  You pick the esoteric metaphor. 

It's probably true that the longer your life has been, the more phases you've gone through, the more people you've known, the more potential there is for this on Facebook.  I just think it's at once weird and interesting that your whole life can be right there, in front of you, to re-visit every time you log on.    Not that this stops me from logging on multiple times per day, of course.  It's just food for thought. 

Comments

[Cathy - wheresmydamnanswer]

I am totally addicted and am searching for a 12 step program...LOL

[Lynn]

I used to do something I liked to call "the Myspace duck" of course this was before I devoted my life to facebook. The Myspace duck was when you logged on to Myspace and saw someone "online" that you didn't want to message, comment on, or converse with in anyway so you literally duck under your desk hoping they don't see you while furiously logging out before they notice you're there.