This Just In: Billy Bob Thornton is an Ingrate.

 I've been busy doing publicity for my two books that are coming out on May 5th, so I apologize I haven't been posting very much over here.  By "publicity," I of course mean radio shows, arranging giveaways and doing interviews, coordinating book signings, and stuff like that.   Maybe it's just me, but I still feel so incredibly lucky that people like reading what I write, and that I have two publishers for two books that doing publicity is absolutely no problem at all.  Of any kind.  No matter what.  In fact, someone asked me during an interview the other day if I mind if my novel is called "chick lit," and I'm like "HELL NO-- call it whatever you want, as long as you buy it and read it."   Because dude, I don't even want to tell you how hard it was to get here.    Or maybe I will tell you, if you want to use it as publicity.   Let's just say it involved alot of writing, and alot of crying. 

Maybe that's why Billy Bob Thornton's recent antics have rubbed me the wrong way so much.  Have you been following this whole thing?  I keep meaning to mention it, then I forget, and then it makes the news again and I am once again reminded of what an incredible douchebag Billy Bob Thorton is, and how he has forgotten all about the "crying" phase of his career where he couldn't get anyone interested in him, and when no one would return his phonecalls, and how he lived in his car (or whatever, I don't know his story).  So, if you’re just joining us now, here’s a recap:

April 8^th:  BBT, on tour with his band the Boxcutters, goes on a Canadian radio show, where his “people” instruct the host not to mention the fact that he’s an Academy Award winning screenwriter and actor.  Because right, a 48 year old drummer in a random band is really going to be able to get publicity for himself and his band based totally on his music.  When the radio host does what any reasonable person would do and tries to ask Thorton how his MUSIC CONNECTS TO HIS CAREER, he totally stonewalls and starts talking about how he built a monster from a kit when he was a kid, and how he doesn’t know Willie Nelson even though he’s out on tour with him, and then he makes some weird references that basically compare all Canadians to bland gravy, and then when the radio host actually asks his band to play music, he acts all offended and condescending and says that he’s not going to play since he’s the drummer and they don’t cart the drum kit around at 6:30 in the morning, which basically says to me that the whole reason his bandmates brought him with for the interview was because he’s BILLY BOB THORTON AND PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW WHAT HE’S DOING.

Here’s that interview, in case you didn’t see it.  It really starts to get uncomfortable around…well, the whole thing is kind of sucky, actually.  If this doesn't make you totally despise Billy Bob Thornton, who in case you've forgotton, IS THAT GUY FROM SLINGBLADE, I don't know what will:  http://www.youtube.com/qtv

Bottom line:  Billy Bob Thorton needs to get right over himself.    He obviously has an incredible sense of entitlement and has lost any sort of connection with the struggles of real artists and how grateful we should all be if our work gets even a shred of attention, for any reason.  Every moment of this interview makes me want to punch him in the face. 

OK, then word gets out that BBT is such a jerk, and Canadian audiences start to boo him at his concerts, and instead of just manning up and apologizing for acting like an a-hole, he cancels the rest of his band’s Canadian appearances, claiming that his whole band and crew have the flu.  So, nice.  Now you’re upset because someone called you a SUCCESSFUL ACTOR and you threw a tantrum, and some Canadians called you on it, and you’re running away instead of facing the music (no.  pun.  Intended) and causing your bandmates (and crew) to miss out on paying gigs.  Dude, again, you’re a drummer in a band that would be totally unknown without your fame.  Give up the attitude.  Give it up!

Then I forget about it for a little while and stop wanting to put my high-heeled shoe in his ass for being so ungrateful, and THEN he goes on Jimmy Kimmel Live (which, um, he couldn’t even do if he wasn’t BILLY BOB THORNTON, THE GUY FROM SLING BLADE)  to say that he’s ASTOUNDED that this is news, but that he’s glad it gives “humpback geeks” something to do.  Notice that he knows better than to correct Jimmy Kimmel for calling him an “Academy Award Winning Actor.”   Go figure.   

This sends me over the edge into a Culwelll-sponsored episode of “REALLY?  With Billy Bob Thornton.”  That goes like this:

Billy Bob Thornton.  REALLY?  You’re a 48 year old drummer on a promotional tour that you’re only on because you’re an actor, and then you command a radio host not to mention the very reason people know you, then people get upset, and you’re surprised that this is news?  REALLY?  Have you not noticed the economy falling down around us?  You are fortunate enough to have one career everyone in the world wants, you’re married six times (one of them to ANGELINA JOLIE), you’re a multimillionaire, you’ve won an Academy Award, all despite a marginal amount of education and a total lack of handsomeness.  THEN you feel like switching careers mid-stream, and by some MIRACLE you are granted a record deal and start living YET ANOTHER DREAM JOB of so many, and then you act like an absolute, entitled a-hole to a poor hardworking radio host.  Then you are SURPRISED that people are upset?  REALLY.    Let me make it clear for you:   YOU LOOK LIKE YOU SHOULD BE WORKING IN A TIRE STORE IN ARKANSAS.  You were deserving of our love in Slingblade, but if you keep going like this, we are going to take our love away.  You are so lucky to be where you are, you literally should be living inside a bubble of gratitude that makes you bake a cake for everyone who even wants to consider you in your role as “musician.”  You are an embarrassment to hard-working, big-dreaming artists everywhere, and you are making all of us look bad, and we want you to go away.

Get over yourself, Billy Bob Thornton.  Don’t make me smack you.  I couldn't care less if you're weird and skinny and afraid of food and antiques. 

Comments

[JIm Maloy]

What Lori said.

[Kimberly]

Here, here! He totally needs to get over himself. I mean, does he actually think anyone would even know his band's name if he wasn't famous for something else? No, he'd be some tire selling dork in a small town that played at weddings...maybe, if he were lucky. I feel sorry for the other guys in his band that probably aren't millionaires & actually would have liked to have gotten paid for playing music. He's an ass.