He Came to Play

So, first I will take care of business:  my Los Angeles Book signing for Hollywood Car Wash is coming up this week:

Hollywood Car Wash book signing
Wednesday, June 10th
Book Soup
West Hollywood
Be there!

The L.A. Times and L.A. Weekly both listed this, which is frankly just awesome and I thought I'd mention it.  Do you think I don't have a Google Alert on myself?  Well, you think wrong.  I do have one.  I have to know what people are saying, man!  What's also funny is that now this is going to show up in my Lori Culwell Google Alert for tomorrow. 

So, I had a whole post all ready to go about how I'm sick and tired of how everything is bad for you these days, including the air you breathe and the water you drink, but then Stephan came home from the gym with a story that is just begging to be shared, so I'm going to go with that one and post that other one tomorrow. 

 

Now, first of all let me say this:  Stephan Cox is 40 years old, and he's probably in better shape than most 20 year old dudes.  I'm not even saying that to brag, it's just a fact-- Stephan THROWS DOWN when it comes to the gym.  He puts in his time, and he's totally in the shape to show it.   I defy you to put him in some kind of fitness contest against younger guys.  He is also a deceptively fast runner, and he's been running for 20 years, so again-- you're going to be hard-pressed to beat him in a race.

 

Which brings me to the L.A. Sports Club, where Stephan works out (no joke) every single day.  On this day in particular, I guess a twenty-something got on the treadmill next to him and thought he would just go ahead and turn the treadmill speed up to 8.5 mph, because hey, if the buff salt-and-pepper hair guy can do it, why can't he?  He's young and spry and goes to the fitness club several times per week!   

 

Oh, did I mention that Stephan Cox has his treadmill set at 9.5 mph, and he is making it look easy?   Yeah, I'm sure you can tell this story is not going to end well for the cocky young guy.

 

So-- a couple of minutes goes by, Cocky Young Guy is barely making the 8.5, is gasping for air, and is eyeing Stephan's treadmill, like, "Hey man-- I'm totally going to outrun you." 

 

Only he's not, because after another minute or so, he's so winded (and apparently light-headed) trying to keep up that he slows his treadmill speed down to 4.5, and he's coughing and spluttering and gasping for air, and the people around him are looking at him to see if he's ok, which embarasses him even more.

 

(Meanwhile, cut back to Stephan Cox, Super Gym Guy, who is STILL running his 9.5 mph, like "Dude, you're going to hurt yourself over there."    He's like, asking the guy if he's ok while he's still running faster than him.)

 

So, Cocky Young Guy is embarrassed more, and he speeds back up to 8.5, which is his big mistake.  Because, the next thing that happens?

 

He throws up.  In his towel.  At the gym.  In front of Super Gym Guy and everyone else, and then has to run off to the bathroom to remove his balls because he has lost them in the Great Gym Throwdown of 2009.   Oh, and also?  He runs off so fast to puke that he leaves the treadmill at 8.5 mph, and the next guy that gets on doesn't know this, so he tries to get on and is comically, cartoonishly thrown off, like in a Wile. E. Coyote type situation where he is SHOT OUT THE BACK OF THE TREADMILL like a bullet.   When Super Gym Guy stopped running to help that guy up, all he had to say was "Nothing is hurt but my pride."

 

So--- how was your Monday?