I want to start this post already defensive, like listing my credentials so you won't lose respect for me when I get to the punchline I went to college AND graduate school. I hold an advanced degree, the loan of which I paid off. I am a property owner, a published author, and a lecturer at UCLA (Extension-- but still!). I say this like I'm all defensive, which maybe I am, because last weekend, I started three sentences with the words "You know, in People Magazine this week they had this story about...."
That's right. I read People Magazine, almost every week. Sometimes US Weekly too, though not as often anymore as reality tv takes over the universe and I have no idea who any of the people are anymore. I don't subscribe because (get this) in my neighborhood the new People comes out on Wednesday, whereas if you subscribe it doesn't come until Friday or Saturday, and that just will not do! I also don't subscribe because I'm actually not interested in it every week, so I guess that makes me an unfaithful reader. But, I'll admit-- I buy all of the "celebrity baby" ones. I was going to say "I don't know why I do this," but I do know. I KNOW! I blame my grandparents, really-- I used to go over to their house every day after school when I was in grade school and would sometimes spend the weekend at their house, and they didn't just read People--- they read EVERY TABLOID OUT THERE, including the "Weekly World News," which (as you'll recall) was the scion of journalistic excellence that brought you "BatBoy!" They also read the newspaper and books and all that (in fact, my grandfather worked for the Associated Press for 65 years or something crazy like that), but for some reason they were just really entertained by the tabloids, and they were totally OK with me reading all of them, starting from when I was seven or eight years old. I did freak out a little about the "people killed by cults" stories, which my grandfather found totally hilarious for some reason. He had a weird sense of humor.
Anyhow, given my sordid tabloid-reading past, I suppose it could be a lot worse. For some reason I find People Magazine to be the palate cleanser for the week as well as a universal conversation starter. Yes, this does give me a little problem, living in a house with a husband who starts sentences with "I read in the New Yorker" or "I heard this story on NPR," but eventually I get to the real news and catch up with what he's saying. Plus, he never has to make conversation at dinner parties, because I am all over things like "Why did Nicole Richie name her new baby Sparrow?" and other important stuff like that. At least I'm off the Weekly World News, right?