While I was looking for that Lindsay Lohan SCRAM bracelet
post from a couple of years ago, I stumbled across this post, in which I ask
the apparently evergreen question “WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP MARRYING CHARLIE SHEEN?” I don’t want to blow my own horn here, but
check it out people—I AM RIGHT ON ABOUT THIS KIND OF THING, so clearly you
should listen to my predictions regarding ill-fated celebrity marriages and
alcohol-monitoring bracelets.
Damn, I am good.
Seriously—less than three years after I wrote this post, Charlie Sheen
is about to go to jail for threatening to kill the very woman he was about to
marry at the time I wrote it. Of course,
it turned out that she was also a total winner who was addicted to crack and
who needed in-home rehab to keep it together so really, they were a match made
in heaven and should totally try to work it out, but on the whole, I would say
that if you want some laser-focused celebrity predictions, you should
definitely pay attention to what I have to say.
My cynicism is not only unparalleled—it is also psychic. Marriage embargo on the Sheen Brothers! Still a good idea!
