So, I’m sick—did I mention? I think the cold/ fever I am experiencing now is moving rapidly through my system, and it’s certainly not as bad as sicknesses of the past, which I think is a testament to the fact that I have more white blood cells now. I hate being sick, though, and here is why:
- Being sick is boring. I like moving around, people. I like exercising, going out, doing things, or even pacing back and forth in my office when I am talking on the phone. If I follow standard wisdom, I am to do none of these things when I am sick, because doing so will make me sicker. However, did you know that one of the side-effects of having a fever is that it makes your heart speed up? I get that this is your body’s way of fighting illness, but to me it seems totally counter-intuitive that your heart is racing while you feel too sick to get up and actually run that foot race that your heart seems to be preparing for. I think this part is worse for me because my heart ALREADY goes faster than regular people’s, so adding the fever makes me feel so filled with adrenaline that I could lift up a car, only I’m really too exhausted to lift up a car, if you know what I mean.
- Being sick makes you kind of stupid. I spent the weekend catching up on a marketing seminar since I was (under Stephan’s advice) “taking it easy,” but I don’t feel like I came to any earth-shattering conclusions, which was disappointing considering the amount of cough medicine I was taking.
- Being sick gets old fast. When you’re sick, does time go slower, or is it just me? I feel like every day I wake up, I’m still sick, I’m counting the days I’ve been sick, and it seems like a long time. I am probably wrong about this, and if I am, I blame the cold medicine.
One good thing about being sick, however, is that you can take a gigantic, tripping balls amount of cold medicine, and this seems to be ok with everyone. I’m sure you know that I’ve never met a downer I didn’t like, so I actually enjoy seeing how much cold medicine it will take to knock me out at night. In case you’re keeping track (and please do not try this at home), Saturday night I took three Benadryls and one of those full shots of Nyquil (which I guess is two doses) along with some melatonin thrown in for fun, which then allowed me to sleep for six hours without coughing myself awake. I did have some extremely crazy dreams, one of which might have involved a chimp juggling chainsaws while Oprah cheered him on.
Seriously, don’t take that much cold medicine yourself—I am the only person I know who can take that much sedation without passing out. It's a gift, really.