Hey, did you know that my husband has an awesome project he's been working on this year? It's called Thing a Day, and he has been posting a painting, or a poem, or a drawing, or music, or funny stuff every single day this year.
Not only is that amazing (perhaps as amazing as running the New York Marathon?), but sometimes it is also super funny, especially today's entry, which is entitled "Letter to Owners of a New Chimpanzee." I'm sure you can imagine what it covers. I decided to use that as my blog post for today, simply because it is much funnier than what I was thinking about writing today.
Chimporium!™ 1477 Maple Dr. Battle Creek, MI 49017
Dear Sir and/or Madam:
Congratulations on becoming the proud new Guardian (our preferred term) of a new chimpanzee! We wish you many happy days ahead with your new Companion Chimp (also our preferred term). Being a Guardian is an extremely rewarding experience, one that will create many treasured memories in the years to come. Having a real, live chimpanzee in your home is exciting and fun, but it can also present certain challenges. Below is a brief overview of what to expect.
You will immediately notice the playful and curious nature of your Companion Chimp as he or she gets to know your living space. Often when exploring rooms and furniture, chimps will engage in sniffing, climbing, swinging, scratching, tearing, and urinating. This is normal. We recommend allowing your Companion Chimp complete access to each and every space and corner of your home in order to allow your new friend to get comfortable in his or her environment. Chimps do not respond well to restrictions. More on that in a bit.
Should I be mildly offended that my readers seem to like my weird photos more than my (sometimes 1,000 word long) written posts? To be fair, that's not ALWAYS the case, but it has been for the past week or so. I thought that NaBloPoMo was supposed to be about writing, I have been posting every single day, and the enthusiasm for the photos has been pretty funny, so I was glad to have that mini-break in there.
Today, though, I absolutely have to share this website that we have been laughing about since last week. It's www.animalsbeingdicks.com, and I hope that you will now waste as much time as I did over the weekend watching absolutely every gif in the series, because they each have their own special, special value to add to your lives. I think I like the ones with dogs in them the best (because let's be honest, cats are pretty much already dicks, so nothing they do surprises me).
Go forth, watch it, and report back to tell me which one was your favorite. And yes, in case you are wondering, I hope to have ordering news about at least one of my new books very very soon!
How to Become a Pharmacist We're launching a project where we make educational cartoons. Here is the pilot, "How to Become a Pharmacist."
Laser Pet Toy My favorite pet toy of all time. Good for a cat, good for a dog, and it's also a pen and a flashlight. Good Lord.
Maria Carvainis Agency Maria Carvainis Agency, discovering new talent and managing bestselling careers for more than 30 years.
My Book on Book Marketing Not ironically, I wrote a book on how to market a book, and called it "How to Market a Book." I wish more writers would take the initiative to get out their on their own behalf, so I wrote up a set of instructions on how to do that.