Funny Strange is Lori Culwell's blog

Yes, I wrote another book.

Why do I never have any free time?  Maybe it's because I can't stop writing books.  This one just came out, and is the very first book through the publishing arm of my company.  It's my pet project on energy and meditation, and if you read "The Secret" and thought it had something missing, then you will probably like it!  

It's called "Wealth from Within" and you can get it on Amazon!  I'm happy with it, and I hope that you will spread the word so that indie publishers like myself can put out books without the loooooong delay authors experience in the publishing world.    Not that I don't love the mainstream publishing world, but I just wanted to try it this way as well!

Next up:  a children's book about gay dads, possibly a Young Adult novel that is having a challenging time finding a home, and maybe a novel or book of poetry by a certain cousin in law.   And, I suppose if you know someone with a good idea for a book, send them my way, since I am now a publishing mogul.

File it under "building an empire, one brick at a time..."

Yes, THAT Hollywood Car Wash

Ok, so as soon as we got back from Carmel, I got stupid-busy with work and all my nonsense again, so I didn't bother to update this site even though the interwebs were buzzing with some Culwell news yesterday. 

My bad. 

I swear I had this post all ready to go, then just as I was about to hit "Publish Now," the computer at the Toyota dealership where I was waiting for my Prius to be serviced went DEAD.  Do I have "Dead Computer Mojo" or something?

Don't answer that.  I don't even want to open that can of worms.

So, just to acknowledge your curiosity, YES, my novel Hollywood Car Wash is being turned into a film. This has been in the works for awhile, but you know how Hollywood goes-- you never want to really say anything until you sign on the line which is dotted, but an article in Variety is not too shabby, so I thought I'd share.

Oh, what's that you say?  You haven't read my novel, and therefore will be behind when the movie comes out?  There is only one solution to that, my friend.  Go buy it right now.  Do it!

Also, it is swampy-humid hot in Los Angeles right now, which is making me already miss the Carmel summer.  Am I the only person in the world who doesn't enjoy a constant 75-80 degree with sunshine day?  Maybe I have the reverse of Seasonal Affected Disorder (that's when people get sad when it's too cloudy outside, in case you didn't know).  Too much sun seems to have the same effect on me, like I'm living in Disneyland or something.   I am praying for fog and rain, that's all I'm saying. 

Book Signing Info, for Those in the Desert!

So, today is the Hollywood Car Wash book signing, which is occurring in the Barnes & Noble in what used to be the Palm Desert Town Center.   Here's the official info, if you need directions or the time:

Friday, June 26, 2009
Time:	6:00pm - 8:00pm
Location:	Barnes & Noble, Westfield Shippingtown
Street:	72840 Highway 111
City/Town:	Palm Desert, CA

I don't know if it's really going to go until 8:00, but who knows?  I'm very excited to see old friends and return to my hometown for this, and everyone (including Bruce Fessier at the Desert Sun, who wrote this amazing article, in case you haven't read it) is being so great.  It feels really good when your hometown is proud of you, I must admit.

Book Signing Info, for Those in the Bay Area

Here's the info on the San Francisco book signing, which is happening tomorrow.  I am probably on the way there right now!

	Thursday, June 18, 2009
	7:30pm - 8:30pm
	Books, Inc.
	2251 Chestnut Street San Francisco

Hope to see you there!

Also, perhaps you'll find this amusing-- I don't have the photos back yet, but the Desert Sun (my hometown newspaper) is doing a profile of me in THIS SUNDAY'S PAPER in anticipation of the signing there on the 25th, and yesterday I did a "Hollywood Car Wash" inspired photoshoot for that, during which I think I got the Hollywood Car Wash.  So, I simply cannot wait to put those up. 

The Friday Wrap-up, posted on Monday.

Let's see...where to start?   Wednesday was my book signing at Book Soup in West Hollywood.  It was quite exciting to have a real book signing at a real venue like that, and did in fact make me feel like a "legit" author, whatever that means.  I was on the fence about how long to read-- the Book Soup woman (who was so nice) recommended 15-20 minutes, to which I would have done a spit take if I'd been drinking something.  20 minutes?  Of a person standing at a podium reading their own book?   I thought after 20 minutes I might be throwing fruit even at myself, so I think I did 6 minutes and an amusing Q and A during which I mentioned that I hear Mariah Carey likes to have puppies waiting for her when she gets off the plane.  Not her puppies-- just puppies, ok?  Who doesn't like puppies?  This was to illustrate my point about how a person can start out "normal," and 20 years later, "normal" to them means puppies when they get off the plane.  You get it.  Anyway, here is a picture of me reading, which looks just like you'd think it would.  Please take note of the Book Soup podium and the actual people in the audience.  I've arrived!


Also, special thanks to all of my lovely and supportive friends and readers who made it out to the reading!   Not only was it nice to see you, but it totally assuaged my fear of reading my book aloud, all alone in an empty bookstore.  I am looking forward to next week's San Francisco signing, which I will post when it gets closer, and then two more after that.

What else?  I am frantically writing lecture after lecture for this class I'm teaching at UCLA.  You know when you look at your calendar and go "wow, that's going to be a really busy couple of months," and then you forget you said that, and then in the middle of that totally busy period you're like "holy f#;ck I'm busy," and it's like you're surprised even though you totally warned yourself?

Yeah, that's me, every day.  I'm sure if Stephan is super thrilled about hearing me in my office going "omigod, I'm hyperventilating again.  I am never going to finish all this work."  And in fact, I have been working all weekend, and have only come up for air to post this because I didn't want it to seem like I forgot all about this blog. 

Hopefully this will let up once.....oh, who am I kidding?  It never really lets up, does it?  I'll probably just find something else to throw myself into if I have five minutes of downtown someday.  Maybe I should just embrace this side of myself.

Right before I started the reading, Stephan remarked how amusing it was that I was standing in front of a display of someone else's book, the title of which was "I Hate People.". I don't know the person who wrote that book, but I'd like them to know that they provided me with a most appropriate and hilarious comic backdrop for the first stop on Book Mini-Tour 2009.  Ha!

Book signing schedule, all in one place

You might be sick of hearing about book-promotion related stuff, but....dude, I wrote two books, and they both just came out!  I have to milk that for all it's worth.   There are several sites doing giveaways of Hollywood Car Wash, and I will be sure to let you know about those when they start, in case you were wanting to win an autographed copy of that book.  For now, though, here is the official "California Book Tour" schedule, which is officially for Hollywood Car Wash, but during which I'm sure I will also have some copies of "Million Dollar Website" in the trunk of my car, should you want an autographed copy of that one as well.    You can also find these on Facebook if you want to RSVP there.

Thursday, June 10th
7:00 pm
Book Soup
8818 Sunset Blvd
West Hollywood, CA 90069

Thursday, June 18th

7:30 pm

Books, Inc. San Francisco

2251 Chestnut Street

San Francisco, CA

 

Friday, June 26th

6:00 pm
72840 Highway 111 and Monterey at Westfield Shoppingtown
Palm Desert, CA. 92260

 

 

Monday, June 29th

6:30 - 8:00 pm

Bay Books

1029 Orange Avenue

Coronado, CA  92118

 

By the way, when all this book busy-ness is over, I really want to share some of the hilarious (not so much) stories with you about how when you write books and they come out, you'd think you would pretty much be done with overcoming challenging obstacles for the time being, but you would be wrong-- weird things still happen, just in diferent settings.  Just yesterday, I got an email from a person in a book store in a city (note my generality), saying that she didn't think my event would be "appropriate for their target audience."  I think she was trying to be nice and not say "our snobby, high-falutin' bookstore shoppers don't want your colorful chick-lit type novel," but I so wanted to call her on it.   I had the words "My book's in Barnes & Noble, and your target audience needs to get over itself" right on the tip of my tongue, but I didn't say it, because I am trying to be the bigger person. 

Instead I just run back here and talk about it on my blog.  

Pub Day has arrived!

Well, the day has finally arrived, and if you've been following this blog, you know that this day has been a long time coming.  Yes, it is Cinco de Mayo, and also-- it is PUBLICATION DAY for not one, but two Culwell books!   These books were written at different times, have different editors, and were put out by different publishers, so I think it's very "funny strange" that they happen to have come out on the very same day.   All in all, this day reflects about four years worth of work, which is pretty amazing when you think about it.  It's like graduation or something!

The first book is Hollywood Car Wash:  a novel, which as you might recall was out in 2007, was picked up by Simon & Schuster, got a new edit and a totally cool new cover, and is now out again.  I'll be posting the schedule of book signings this week for that one.

Here's a Booklist review:  In this dishy debut, a midwestern college student finds herself the star of a hit TV show. Amy Spencer, a drama student who aspires to make indie films, goes to an audition for a new television show and, to her surprise, ends up beating out typical Hollywood beauties to get the part. The network claims to want a girl with a “midwestern look” in the role, but no sooner is Amy cast than the demonic network executive overseeing her show presents a laundry list of demands, including that Amy lose weight, get plastic surgery, and even change her name. Though she is put off by the superficiality and pressure, Amy acquiesces, lured by the novelty of lavish free gifts and paychecks she can use to help her mother. But when Amy’s agent pushes her into a deal with a handsome film star that requires her to fake a relationship, Amy starts to wonder just how far she is willing to go. Anyone who has paged through a celebrity gossip rag will devour this juicy exposé.

So, if you think you might want some beach reading, I would recommend picking it up.  I know, I'm biased, but I've heard people think it's funny.  You can order Hollywood Car Wash here on Amazon, if you are so inclined.  If you read it before, I will say it is a totally new, better edit.

But, let us not forget the other book, which has been even longer in coming.  Million Dollar Website, which is a non-fiction book dedicated to helping small business people construct good websites and optimize them for the internet, is also awesome.  It condenses alot of my internet-industry experience, and is definitely worth the money if you have a website of any kind, just for what it will teach you about keyword research, usability, and self-promotion.  I'm not even saying that in a pushy way-- I actually think this book (again, with the help of a great editor) puts these techy things in a really user-friendly context, which was the whole point of the book.    You can also order Million Dollar Website on Amazon, if you have a website or know someone who does.   I promise, you will end up getting something out of this book that you totally didn't think of, and that one thing will totally change your website traffic and / or improve your business.    I'm also teaching a class on this topic starting this summer through UCLA Extension.

Wow-- just writing all of that up made me tired all over again.  I am going out to buy some celebratory shoes. 

Mark your calendars, volume 2: the book tour is coming to Palm Desert!

Oh, what's that you say?  You can't make the book signing on June 10th in L.A.?  Well, I'm doing another one in my hometown of Palm Desert!

Here's the info, so you can tell everyone you know:

 

Hollywood Car Wash book signing/ meet & greet w/ Lori Culwell

 

Friday, June 26th, 6:00 pm

Barnes & Noble Booksellers
72840 Highway 111 - Suite 425
Palm Desert, CA 92260

Stay tuned for San Francisco, San Diego, New York, and possibly Austin dates!   And, as always, even if you can't make one of the signings, I do not think that should stop you from buying the book on Amazon, because it should really be in your list of summer reading. 

Also, if you're on Facebook, you can RSVP for the event! 

Mark your calendars. No, seriously.

Finally got a date for a Los Angeles book signing, and if you're not one of the gazillion people I just informed through Facebook, I think you should get out your old-fashioned calendar and write this one down, because it's going to be off the heezy (can't believe I just said that).

"Hollywood Car Wash" book signing
Book Soup
West Hollywood
June 10th, 7:00 pm.

Tell everyone.  No, I'm serious.  Tell.  Everyone.  And, if you have an in with a bookstore and want me to come sign books in your town, NOW is the time to mention that, please.   I am waiting on locations for New York, San Francisco, and my hometown of Palm Desert.

Yes, it's true. My novel is in "Marie Claire."

Last night my friend L. mentioned that she was looking in Marie Claire magazine and saw that my novel, Hollywood Car Wash, was mentioned in the "Pop Culture Pyramid" as a Guilty Pleasure.   This is exactly the kind of thing I like to mention under the auspices of "Shameless Self Promotion," because if you don't hear about it from me and you don't happen to read Marie Claire, how are you going to hear about it???  Also, in case I didn't make a whole separate blog post about it, Publisher's Weekly called this new version of the book "Glammy [and] dishy....a beach read shoo-in."

Dude, if that's not motivation enough to make you pre-order it on Amazon.com, since it comes out on May 5th, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS. 

In other "Hollywood Car Wash" related news, if you look under "Used Versions" in that Amazon listing, I kid you not, you will see that someone in Florida is selling one of the old versions of this novel for $186.   It was my agent who told me this news, which he followed immediately with the (valid) question:  "is that person in Florida actually you?" 

So, just to set the record straight, no-- it's not me, but I think it's pretty cool nonetheless.  A collector's item!