Right now, just to amuse you, I'm going to write a post that talks about the news, and yet has absolutely nothing to do with the economic meltdown or all the other bad stuff out there, because I'm 100% sure you're getting enough of that, right? I'm thinking of starting a site totally dedicated to news that isn't depressing. What do you think?
1. So, hey, did you hear they finally convicted O.J. of something? I don't know about you, but I could've sworn I saw him let out a big ol' sigh of relief, like "Whew! Finally, I don't have to live a lie anymore!" Personally, I think the crushing guilt of the crimes he committed was bound to lead him to act recklessly, and if he didn't get caught in this crazy kidnapping/ attempted murder scheme in Vegas, he would've, like, left his car in a tow-away zone, then killed the tow truck guy. You know what I'm saying? I'm putting this under "good news" because I guess I'm kind of relieved too!
2. Also in the news-- they named the Nobel Prize recipient for literature, and (I'm sorry to say) as usual, I had absolutely no familiarity with their work. This led me to look up the list of recipients, perhaps to verify that in fact, I am not illiterate, that I did matriculate from not one, but TWO schools of higher education, and that my Master's Thesis involved Dostoevsky, Strindberg, and a little-known work of E.T.A. Hoffman (the guy who wrote the Nutcracker). Um, yeah-- despite 7 1/2 years of advanced education, I was only able to say I'd read (or even heard of) 27% of the people who had won this illustrious award. Pretty weak sauce, man. Maybe I need to bone up on my Carl Spitteler. I did find some solace in the fact that I've read pretty much everything by 1969's winner Samuel Beckett, and was entertained to learn that one of my other favorite writers, Jean-Paul Sartre, won in 1964 but refused the prize on the grounds that "It is not the same thing if I sign Jean-Paul Sartre or if I sign Jean-Paul Sartre, Nobel Prize winner. A writer must refuse to allow himself to be transformed into an institution, even if it takes place in the most honorable form." Go ahead, play the game for yourself!
Interesting! Also, when Solzhenitsyn won in 1970, he couldn't atttend the ceremony for fear that the U.S.S.R would prevent him from coming back home, so he was all "can't you just honor me here?" And the Nobel prize committee was all "No, it's Sweden or nothing," so he refused, the finally accepted in 1974 after the Soviet Union deported him.
Oh, what's that, smarty? You can just off-hand name the collected works of 1903's winner, Bjornstjerne Bjornson? Well, good for you.
3. The Dodgers are in the playoffs, and they haven't won a World Series since 1988. So, that's good news, but only if you're not a fan of one of the teams the Dodgers beat to get to the playoffs. Still, yay!
4. Chucko the Birthday Clown died, which in itself isn't amusing, but # 1 he was 86, which I think you'll agree is pretty darn old for a birthday clown, and # 2 I'm going to just ask you to go over to his obituary and look at the horrifying picture the L.A. Times chose to run of him. Is he surrounded by cigarettes? WTF?