Well well well… is it Friday already?
Before I get on with my story, I must tell you that Stephan has a new website! Part of what we were working on this week (in addition to the podcast that comes out twice a week and all the other projects) was getting this fantastic redesign up and running. Special thanks to Denise Biondo for her great work on this. Yay!
As you can see, I was busy with website things this week, and I was almost afraid I was going to have to write a Funny Strange post that would bore you to death, about things like Search Engine Optimization and how important it is to find low-competition keywords, and how to get your latent semantic indexing right so Google’s algorithm will rank it, and so on.
Are you asleep yet? I thought so.
Anyway, Baxter must have sensed that things were a little too quiet, because just as I was getting ready to write you a totally boring post, I let him out into the yard last night and seconds later, looked over to see him GRABBING A SKUNK WITH HIS MOUTH AND THROWING IT UP IN THE AIR.
Yep. It all happened so fast, I couldn’t even stop him. I think you can imagine what happened next, as the skunk was like “OH NO YOU DIDN’T,” and proceeded to hiss at him, then blast him in the face until he went temporarily blind and wandered away gagging and stunned. I guess I can’t blame him since he’d never actually seen a skunk before, but even when it was happening, I was like “Oh, oh no—don’t do that!” which then turned quickly into “Damn, what a bonehead,” and then “What the hell am I going to do now?”
To pre-answer your inquiries, yes—I have washed him three times, once with a concoction I got from the internet that was GUARANTEED to work (hydrogen peroxide + baking soda + dish soap), once with plain dish soap, and once with lemon juice, and yes, he still smells, so for now he lives on the porch. Also, no—I did not put tomato juice on him, though that might be next. I will say, the skunk smell is about 75% gone, but he is still not allowed in the house, and he still has the look on his face like he’s not sure exactly what happened. The irony with the “anti-skunk” solutions is that you’re pretty much not allowed to put any of them NEAR THE DOG’S EYES, which of course is exactly where the skunk sprays. Wouldn’t it make sense if they could invent the equivalent of a “No More Tears” shampoo for dogs that also served to de-skunk them? I’m just saying.
This is what he looked like this morning, in between baths number 2 and 3. Because he lacks knowledge of chemistry and access to the internet, he does not know that rolling in the grass is not going to make any difference, and that the skunking is just going to have to fade away on its own. Or maybe it’s just that his eyes hurt and he’s trying to make them feel better. Who knows what he’s thinking?
By the way, while I was at the store buying rubber gloves, hydrogen peroxide, and a bucket for the de-skunking, I noticed this product.
Just……why? Who needs this? Why is this even a thing?