Funny Strange is Lori Culwell's blog

So, where were we?

Well well well!

 

I finally finished my book tour and have managed to get myself down from three giant piles of sh$t on my desk to one, which I am working on.  So, if I owe you an email, I'm getting there.  I started my UCLA Class, and that is going well-- the students are awesome so far, and we're making good progress on their projects.  Even though this photo is of the San Francisco book signing, I thought it was funny so I decided to put it up. 

 

I've been a little more diligent about updating Facebook just because it's easier, but just for fun, let me re-cap the book signing that was last Friday in Palm Desert.  I should probably preface this by saying that it is very, VERY hot there now.  Like, 108 degrees at 5:30 in the evening hot, which makes people in the desert go a tiny bit crazy.  I can attest to this because I grew up there.  And even though that is the case, I don't know if you can really ever prepare yourself for that kind of hotness-- the hotness that wears you out before you even get from your air-conditioned car to your air-conditioned house.  Actually, in high school I had a car whose A/C didn't work, and I was constantly getting burned on the steering wheel and the seats.  For real.  Getting burned by the seats of the car.  That's how hot.

 

Anyhow, I arrived in the desert a few hours before the signing, and tried to keep myself from dying of heat exhaustion before 6:00 pm, which was no easy task.  Fortunately there were already some people I knew there right when it started, so I didn't even have time for the "is anyone going to show up?" nervousness that always precedes an event.  Actually, people showed up from 6:00 until about 8:30, which was just awesome.  Alot of cool people were in town for a high school reunion (not mine), so they came as well, and it was totally nice to see everyone again.

 

But, back to the heat crazy.   The first person I might have put into this category actually ended up buying a book, so I feel guilty slandering her when she is now one of my readers.  For that reason, I will write up a little note about that and put it on Facebook for those who are interested.  You can also leave a comment if you'd like to hear the story but are not my FB friend.

 

Next up:  a guy who brought me a hand-written note, but DID NOT buy a book, so game on!  He was an older man who had read about me in the paper, and it seemed like he wanted me to do something for a charitable event he was putting together (at least this is what I could derive from the hodge-podge of inclusions in the envelope, one of which was a semi-obscene business card), and he called himself "Tijuana Joe."  He wore a seersucker shirt and a white fedora, and when I asked him if he was going to buy a book, he said "No, I don't have time to read, I'm a man on the go."  This went on as my friends and some other people from the bookstore looked on, like "What is going on here?"

 

I also had a few random elderly people wander over and ask "What kind of book is this?"  and when they heard it was fiction, they told me they only like to read books on real things that really happened, like wars, which is no surprise because my grandma tells me the same thing.  Is it a thing that when you get old, you don't want to read made-up stories anymore?  I'd think it would be the opposite, that the older you get, the more experiences you've had, and the more you want to see things that come out of people's imaginations.  But, what do I know?  I'm not old, I don't have a fedora, and I don't really care for books on wars or Hitler. 

 

Next, I spent a few days hanging out at a high school reunion that wasn't mine, which was totally fun and interesting.  I knew some of the people (and in fact, I went there with my friends), but it was pretty amazing to me how everyone from high school falls into the same patterns, even after 20 years.  Same people hanging out together, and for the most part, people looked the same.  I'm not saying that because I'm trying to say I look the same, but it was kind of crazy how "the same" everyone actually looked, like barely any time had passed.  I remember my mom going to her high school reunions, and I also remember the pictures and that the people seemed totally old.  Maybe it's a matter of perspective, or maybe it's that with the healthy food and the face cream and the hormones the drinking water, we're all just living longer and looking younger.  That part was pretty amazing to me though.

 

Oh, I should also mention that it is a very, very bad idea to take a totally black Prius to the desert during the summer.   Also pretty amazing is just how hot the inside of that thing can get when you park it in the sun and it's 113 degrees outside, then you make your friends ride in the back seat when they are wearing their fancy reunion clothes.  Sorry Lisa and Brett!

Book Tour: Last Stop, San Diego

So, tonight is the last stop on the whirlwind Summer of 2009 book tour, and I would be remiss if I didn't give you the info, lest you live in the San Diego area and want to come out.

Hollywood Car Wash Book Signing # 4

Monday, June 29th

6:30 - 8:00 pm

Bay Books

1029 Orange Avenue

Coronado, CA  92118
http://www.baybookscoronado.com/

Be there!   It is possible that my grandmother might be making an appearance.

Tomorrow:  a write-up of some over the weekend antics, including the Class of 1989 reunion that I crashed, even though I did not graduate that year.  I repeat, I DID NOT GRADUATE IN 1989.  :)

It's a Culwell Media Bonanza!

Well, well -- I'm back for a few days before I start the "Palm Desert- San Diego" leg of the book tour, and I thought I'd post some cool stuff from last week.  I'm still on the "busiest summer of my life" right now, and might I recommend that if you write two books, you try not to have them come out on the very same day? 

 

Here's an awesome profile of me done by the Desert Sun, the newspaper of my hometown.  The pictures are especially cool!

Next, an interview about my website book, which you can now listen to over on Blog Talk Radio.  It's an hour long, and we talk about every possible website thing you could imagine. 

Finally, I was a guest on the hilarious "Two Jacks in the Hole" podcast last week, where we discussed Hollywood Car Wash among other things.

Also, Happy Father's Day, and congratulations to my good friend A., who will have had her baby by the time this is posted!  Good news all around!

Wow, is it June already?

Let's see.....

 

Blogs neglected?  Yep.

Emails not answered?  Yep.

Phonecalls not really returned?  Yep.

Computer infected with a strange virus that keeps popping up, but that I don't really have time to deal with?  Yep.

 

So, I'm sure you really want to come over to this blog to hear about how busy I am, but I really am!  I got involved in this rewrite of a new book project, and I have all these other work projects to do, and like, the other week I went to the dentist, and my dentist is getting a new website, and now I'm doing an SEO project for the dentist, dude.  I have this sickness called "I can't say no to work," which I think serves me well at times, but has just meant an exceptionally busy May, and now June.  So, apologies for the lack of updates.  I would take some time off, but if you're a creative type, "taking some time off" usually translates to "I don't have any work," so I guess I'll just put my head back down in my computer again and be grateful to be so busy. 

 

On the "strange but true" front, I was asked to be one of the "Career Day" speakers at my old high school last Friday, and I went, and it was actually awesome!   At one point, I did look out into the faces of the students and realize that when my friends and I were graduating from that high school, those kids were either being born or hadn't even been born yet, so that was a little odd, but overall I had a good time and everyone was nice.  Actually, about four of the students had book projects they were working on, so I found that impressive.    Did you have a book you were working on while in high school?  I didn't.

 

 I will try to cook up an interesting post for later in the week once I've wrapped up this rewrite and sufficiently apologized to everyone who has been waiting for me to return emails from mid-May, but for now, how about this totally absurd photo of an abandoned gynecologist's chair that my friend Rachel found in front of her office yesterday?   Wow-- so, you were done with the chair, but you didn't call the "medical waste disposal" company, or even the trash company like you're supposed to, eh?  Just left it right out there in the street, huh?    This is strange on so many levels, not least of which is that you wouldn't think a gynecologist in Santa Monica would have to leave in such a hurry that they'd just go ahead and discard their chair, right there in the street.  I like to make up stories about mysterious things, so this one really entertained me yesterday.

 

Tidbits and Updates

Well well well....is it Thursday already?  I will once again cite the "very busy months of May and June" excuse, and say that at least I am making progress on my teacher training and syllabus for UCLA, that I'm doing publicity for my books, and the new tires for my car finally arrived at Costco, and now I have to find time to go over there and get them put on.    Yesterday Stephan asked me what I wanted to do for Memorial Day, and I was all "oh thank God-- another day to work!"  So, that's pathetic. 

Also, in the interest of technology and it being cool, I have been learning all about Wordpress and considering transferring this blog over to that interface.  But....then I consider how much it would suck if I transferred four years' worth of blog posts over to another site, and then it crashed.  So, for now I'm starting small with a couple of other sites I've been meaning to build.

Here are some updates from the week:

RE:    the Red Hot Chili Peppers post from last week.  My friend C. sent this set of fictional RHCP lyrics that he created as a tribute.  I think you'll find them as wonderfully absurd as I did.  I really think this is the direction Anthony Kiedis is going.

My love-parka-chip-dip explodes forever

Slippery dippery like a musky salamander

Kappa zoop tortilla poop pappa sloop

And a slappa wappa whip-wop

 

Crumbling down like stone brick-a-wall-wall

Bleu cheese dresses and high heels that I'm stroking

Paisley slap on my fluted sexual proboscis

Colorful jello flavor on my fong backa trip pack

RE:  Even more book publicity.  I did an interview with a great blog called "Stop, Drop, and Read," and they are giving away copies of Hollywood Car Wash, just in case you haven't read it yet and wanted to try to win a copy.    Also, if you're interested, you can now hear me talking Search Engine Optimization and my book "Million Dollar Website," over on the Paul McLoughlin at Work show, which is archived here.  I am the first guest.  Finally, did I mention that I am the career day speaker at my old high school next Friday?   That should be fun.   If you're wondering, yes--- it is totally weird having two books out at the same time that are about two completely different topics.  Weird, and cool.

RE:  The Nintendo Wii being totally insensitive to my friend's deceased boyfriend, if you'll refer back to the comments on that post, you'll see that my friend Rachel actually sent a complaint email to Nintendo, and they answered back to say that they were going to tell their development department about this, and that they hoped that person also sent in a complaint letter.  Because yeah, I'm sure that providing user-feedback on the Wii interface is really at the top of my friend's list, now that she's been re-reminded about her grief by the mean Nintendo Wii lady.  Still, I guess it's nice that they wrote back.

The Friday Wrap-up, which is only 50% book related

I’m sure you’re ready for me to leave the subject of books,  book publicity, book signings, and selling books, and I respect that.  Although, I will just throw this last thing in there:  I went to Barnes & Noble in Santa Monica on Wednesday (I know you’re going to think I was looking for my own book, and I totally wasn’t—I went in there for something else, but believe what you want), and I happened upon this “writer’s dream come true” discovery—yes, folks, Barnes & Noble on the 3rd Street Promenade has 14 copies of Hollywood Car Wash, and they are turned out on the shelf, so casual adventurers into the fiction section can see them.  Yowza!  Here is a picture of that, because I am a dork and took one.  If I could have taken a photo of myself “This Guy-ing” that shelf, you know I would totally have done it.  Come to think of it, maybe I will have Stephan go with me this weekend and take that very photo.  So, thanks to everyone who has bought the novel (or the website book! Let us never forget about the other book!), has written to say nice things on Facebook, or who has generally been supportive.  As I’m sure I might have mentioned once or twice, it is pretty hard to write two books and get them published, so every nice thing or thought means something to me.

Oh, also—this is important as well.  I was asked to write a music playlist for Hollywood Car Wash for the completely awesome music blog “Large Hearted Boy,” and am happy to tell you that you can now see that at:  http://www.largeheartedboy.com.  I’m super excited to have been included in this program, which has also seen the likes of Bret Easton Ellis, Augusten Burroughs, and Mei-Ling Hopgood.    This gave me a chance to combine my two favorite things—music and writing—so you know I was all over that.  Go over there and read it—I think you will like it, and the site is a great find (lots of cool people, good music, and free downloads).  Bookmark it!

And now, on to the next topic—the real reason I went down to the Promenade (besides to see if my book was on the Barnes & Noble shelf, because you think that anyway) was to try on a pair of shoes that I’d read about, but that I was afraid would take away all my irony if I purchased them.  They are called Shape Ups, and they are by Skechers, and yes—they totally look like Frankenstein shoes, but, I bought them, and I’ll be damned if they aren’t totally toning my legs.

Let me back up.  I don’t have a gym membership because gyms kind of gross me out, with the germs and the sweaty people grunting, and the music, and the having to wait in line for machines.  Also, in Los Angeles I find that there is a tacit and not so healthy competition among women at the gym, and this really detracts from the reason you would exercise in the first place.  So, my primary source of working out is walking, which I do for four miles, every day, with the dog, outside.  Luckily it’s usually pretty nice outside, but I have been known to do this in the rain, when it’s really cold, and in the dark.  Once I really started the walking habit, now I can’t stop.  But, when I read about these “Shape Up” shoes, I thought—“wow, maybe I could add another layer to my four miles,” so I went to go try them on, and liked them so much I made the investment.

That’s not to say that they’re not dorky-looking, because they totally are.  I am compelled to wear long jeans to try to cover over them, because otherwise I would laugh at myself if I looked down.   The basic concept behind these shoes is that the soles are curved, so while you’re walking it simulates you walking on a soft surface like sand, which works out your legs even more.  I have to say, they actually work really well, and I am already noticing a difference.

But, back to the irony, or lack thereof.  Stephan has already invented a name for them—“THE GROOVE SHOES,” and he must yell this every time he sees me in them.    They do look a little like shoes you would wear if one of your legs was longer than the other, actually, or like the kind of shoes that Shaggy from Scooby Doo would wear.  And, like I said, I have been compelled to cover them up with pants for fear that someone (maybe myself) will see me in them, think I am not aware of how they look, and laugh at me, which I would too if I saw someone just cruising down the street wearing these shoes.

The people at Skechers, bless their hearts, have come up with a brochure that I think was intended to ease you through this process by showing other people wearing their Shape Ups in normal settings, but I have to say, for me this had the opposite effect, and now I just feel bad for the people who are in the ads.  Also, the shoes come with a DVD, which I ACTUALLY WATCHED, about other exercises you can do if you’re wearing the shoes but not actually in the middle of walking, like rolling back and forth on your toes.  The people in that video also look like models and I’m certain they are—in fact, I will mention at this point that in the early nineties (while paying for college), I appeared in several of these “training” type videos, one of which was for “what to do if you get robbed while working in Taco Bell.”   During the filming of videos like this, I don’t know why, but they always put a ton of makeup on all the actors, like “we’re going to make you as pretty as possible, then put you in training-type situations.”  The overall effect is strange and distancing, both if you’re appearing in the video or just watching it to learn how to work your brand-new shoes.

And with that, have a wonderful weekend!

This is the kind of stuff that always happens....

OK, so you know how I was going off about Stacy on The Cougar yesterday?    Literally FIVE minutes after I posted a link to that post from my Facebook page, a friend from my high school popped over to my Facebook to comment that, in fact, THE COUGAR IS THE EX-WIFE OF ONE OF OUR OTHER FRIENDS FROM HIGH SCHOOL.  Some other reality people who went to my high school include:  the girl who won "Who Wants to Marry a Prince" and Erin Brodie from "For Love or Money," as well as several others.  Tv people, soap people, rock band people--- you name it.   And that is BEFORE I moved to Los Angeles. 

Yep, that's right-- live here long enough, and you will know everyone on tv, even the reality shows.   You will not be able to watch tv, because right in the middle of the plot, you will see someone you know, and this will break the reality of the situation for you.  Or, you will know someone who knows someone on that show, so you will have heard stories about the actors and actresses and this will make it hard for you to see them as the characters on their show.  Or, worst of all, you will run into one of them at Pavillions or Ralph's, and you will be forced to ignore them in order to observe the Laws of Celebrity.  You also must never, EVER acknowledge a reality tv show person if you see them in public, because dude.  They don't even deserve their fame!  They are just famous for being a person!

But, back to my original point.  Everyone here knows each other, ok?  My neighbor is this formerly-famous actor, and he's getting a divorce, and get this?  MY AUNT KNOWS HIS EX WIFE.  When I told him this, he started laughing and said he figured it wouldn't take long to find the connection, and that he never knew that everyone is connected until he moved here and then couldn't get out. 

I guess all of this should make you even more curious to read my novel, Hollywood Car Wash, which is actually for sale RIGHT NOW!  So, maybe you should take this opportunity to go and order it.  I, on the other hand, am on the way to Phoenix for a business trip. 

Things, and stuff, and The Cougar...

First, what is going on with me (because people seem to care about this):   last week I baked a cake for my 3-year old goddaughter’s birthday party, then helped out with the party.  This week I have been Zicam’ing the hell out of myself for a sore throat/ fever thing that I obviously picked up from the giant group of children at the party.  So, that was nice.   I don't think it's swine flu, but I have been tempted to call my doctor more than once.  I had to cancel the first part of a business trip I was supposed to be on this week because of that illness, but I am leaving for Phoenix tomorrow for the second part, and then May-June will begin. 

I am anticipating this will be a very busy summer, with the books launching, and travel for those (full book tour schedule coming so soon, I promise), and travel for work, and  trying to keep up with projects and blogs, and teaching a course at UCLA—oh, did I not mention that?  I am teaching a “writing for the web” type course called “Design Write” starting in June, at UCLA Extension.  If you know any of my professors at UC Santa Barbara (where I did not complete my PhD, oh no no no!) you can probably imagine their faces right now, upon finding out the fact that I am teaching courses at UCLA……to give yourself an impression of what that sounds like, maybe try reading this sentence in a Welsh/ English accent after attending all of the parts of the Ring Cycle: 

NO!  We tried to stop her!  We did everything in our power, and now she has prevailed!   Somewhere, Socrates is turning over in his grave, I’m sure.  Right!”

I’m not naming any names (because it’s more fun that way, don’t you think, if only three people who read this blog get the joke?), but let’s just say it’s a small, full-circle triumph in my life that I have once again been hired to instruct students.  The course is going to be fun – it’s a workshop-style thing where I basically will teach you all the ways to keyword-enrich your website and market the crap out of yourself.  So, here that is, if you’d like to sign up for it or know someone who wants to.  It's going to be a good class, and I'm excited about it.  Right now I'm doing the teacher training, and it's very involved. 

But, on to another topic on my mind.  Last night I was flipping channels before I went to sleep (after watching one too many episodes of Intervention—don’t even get me started on that show), and I happened to catch the tail end of that new show “The Cougar.”

Where do I even start with this?  For one thing, Stacy (the cougar) IS totally hot, and honestly, a lot of the 40 year olds I know (at least here in California ) look this way.  My friends, at least, are aging extremely well, which you know if you’re on Facebook.   We only have a few years to go to be cougar-age, and so I was really looking at it from her perspective.  The minute they showed the guys that were the “cougar bait” contestants, I literally was like “get those douchebags out of my house….right now.”  Seriously, 90% of those dudes are in their early 20’s, are almost all unemployed, and cannot hold a regular conversation.  I am actually scared for Stacy that she’s going to have feelings for one of them and end up raising him for the next fifteen years until he becomes a real person.  Oh, was that out loud?   Really—those guys look  like they came right from the Cabo Cantina, and like every one of them either has crabs, or has just gotten over them by giving them away.  Yikes!

Let me also add that I’m from the Palm Springs area, which means I know from cougars.  If you like, I will tell you the name of the bar in La Quinta where we just had a little high school reunion last year, and I’m not kidding, the single guys were in actual danger of being swallowed alive by the cougars inside the bar, and STILL I think those boys would not have passed muster.

Also—Stacy has FOUR KIDS and TWO EX HUSBANDS?   Yiiiiiikes!  I’m not surprised she hasn’t been that forthcoming about this information.  She looks hot, but how weird is it going to be when her new 25 year old boyfriend has to give parental advice to her 23 year old daughter?  Yes, she’s 23, which means (if my math is right) that Stacy had her first child while still in high school, and yet I STILL think she can do better than the guys they’ve chosen. 

Oh, and also?   Instead of roses or photographs or however they do regular reality show eliminations, Stacy has to KISS all of the contestants, AT THE END OF EVERY SHOW.  KISS THEM!  Like, can you imagine the germs?    I let a three year old kiss me over the weekend, and now I have a fever, ok?   To kiss 13 people (who have crabs) all in the span of an hour?   Hello!  Super-bug!    It is funny, though, that she has to give some of them the “kiss off,” where they go to kiss her and she turns her cheek.  It’s like the ultimate cougar diss, although I almost wish that once they get eliminated, the producers would take them aside and be like “um, she has two ex husbands and four kids, so….maybe you should go back to the Cabo Cantina.  You were in WAY over your head on this one.”

Oh, and finally?  What is going on with Vivica A. Fox and her weird delivery of her lines?  She sounds like she’s playing the role of a ghetto boot camp sergeant, with a lot of hand gestures and yelling.  You’d think that for an actress, she could act more realistic. 

Overall, I’m not sure I can watch this show again because a) it’s absurd on so many levels, and b) I really don’t know who to root for, if you know what I mean.   Also, there is too much kissing in that show, and it really grosses me out.

Yep.

I know, I know-- this happens every time I go on a business trip.  I forget all about you, and for that I am sorry.  I mean, I don't really forget about you, but I'm not really posting, so it seems like I did.  I've been on the east coast all week in a work whirlwind, but I did want to mention the following tidbits:

-- On the plane from LA to New York,  I was bitten by a mosquito.  How is that even possible?  I am now trying not to obsess about where that plane was before (like Africa), and how I might now have malaria.  

--It is still extremely cold here in New York, but thankfully I learned my lesson from my December trip and brought enough cold-weather stuff.  Still, when that windchill hits you, you go "Ugggghhhhh" and so does everyone else around you.  Cold like that.  Joke cold.  Movie cold.  Angry cold. 

--Last night we went to see Patton Oswalt do standup comedy at Caroline's.  If you've never heard of him, I would suggest that you get right on that.  I haven't laughed that hard in a very long time.  Here's a clip:  https://www.carolines.com/#/page/play-video/107/90/patton-oswalt/

--I got a totally weird email the other day from one of my high school friends, saying that she reads my blog, and wondering if I had any control over the ads that Google serves up in the right-hand sidebar, because (this is so weird to me), on the night she was reading it, she noticed an ad for a service that will make a memorial statue for your miscarried baby.   I'm not even kidding about this or making a joke about it-- that's the ad that really came up, and I'm not sure why.  It's not like I'm making "funny strange" jokes about those sorts of topics, so it's super-odd that they would serve up that ad.  Come to think of it, what WOULD be the appropriate context for that?   Now that I mentioned it, it's probably going to come up again.   Weird weird weird! 

So, back to regular blog schedule on Monday, and sorry for the delay in service.  The coldness got to me, I guess. 

What goes on?

Hello hello!  I know, it's only two blog posts for this week, and that is just not acceptable.  You'll have to forgive me, as I've been in a bit of a "Funny Strange" quandary, and here's why.  Some of you may know this-- last week one of my closest friends lost a loved one in a tragic way, and there was no way I was going to mention it here, but it was what I was thinking about most of the time, and I didn't want to NOT mention it because I know she reads this blog, but I didn't want TO mention it because it was very sad and private, and so I was really at a loss as to what to do.   That is to say, I didn't want to be making jokes and for her to think that I wasn't taking the situation seriously, which I was (and am), but I didn't (and am not going to) mention it, but I also didn't want to leave my regular readers hanging.

I guess the bottom line is, I try to do this blog as a form of entertainment, and I have really not been in a very entertaining mood for the past ten days or so.   But, I suppose, neither are some of my readers, and maybe this blog is one of the things that makes your day a little better.   It might even make her day a little better.    But, it's hard to notice funny things when something sad happens, is all I'm saying. 

Anyhoo, let's talk about something else.  Did you see the amazing UHaul chase up PCH yesterday?  I don't know the story behind it, but I took the dog to the vet yesterday (further explanation coming, don't you worry), and while I was waiting for him, I watched on the tv in the lobby as a full-fledged police chase broke out-- with a woman in a UHaul van, of all things.  This was very amazing to me, for several reasons:

1.  No UHaul van I've ever rented has been able to even reach 55 mph.  Damn!  That thing was hauling ass.  That was actually a pretty good advertisement for UHaul, if you ask me.

2.  The woman seemed so nonchalant as she was weaving into oncoming traffic, going north on PCH at rush hour.  I guess the police didn't want to throw out that tire-popper thing too soon because they didn't want to cause a big crash like the one that closed down the 10 freeway earlier in the day, so they chased her until she ran out of gas, where she then abandoned the car and ran for awhile, then tried to hijack someone else.  My point is this--  I don't love going on PCH during rush hour because it's all crowdy and dangerous and people try to pass on the right, and she was all like, smoking a cigarette and waving at the cameras.  Was she high?

3.  This is just for my own knowledge-- when did they start live-broadcasting car chases again?  I thought they banned that whole practice in the nineties. 

This brings me to the reason I was at the vet.  Did I mention that Baxter is almost eight years old?   Not only does he have arthritis that we're starting to be able to see more and more, but now he's also got (wait for it)  Irritable Bowel Syndrome.  Actually, he's always kind of been a "nervous pooping" kind of dog, but now it's getting worse, so our vet put him on (wait for it) ANTI DEPRESSANTS to get the problem under control.  I don't know whether to find this hilarious or be skeptical or what, but if giving him this pill will stop him from pooping in the living room, I will take it.  I know, this makes me sound like one of those crazy, overprotective L.A. dog owners, but dude!  No one wants to clean dog poop off their hardwood floors, am I right?  Actually, who am I kidding?  It's Stephan who always cleans it.  I was just trying to help him out.  I will let you know if the dog seems any happier, or any progress is made on this issue.

So that's it for the day-- personal tragedy, a car chase, and dog poop.  Happy Thursday!