List of Insufferable Christmas songs, for your amusement....

First thing's first: happy birthday Brandi!   Tomorrow I will buy you a cupcake.  Have a good day at work!

Now, on to the business of the day.  I saw this post recently, on the blog of a friend of a friend from grad school that I read occasionally, and it was so funny I kept thinking about it all week.   The description of how her two-year old is obsessed with the Andy Williams song "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" is pretty hilarious.  That song is just so bad, and the thought of having to play it over and over again, ad infinitum....too funny.  Maybe even worse than The Wiggles.

Anyhow, that got me thinking about some of the other completely over the top Christmas songs that we just take for granted, and since last year I did a list of "Sad Holiday Songs" (which I'm sure you read, and if you didn't, I think you should go back and do that now), this year I'm doing the opposite, so here goes.

Top Ten Over the Top/ Cheesy Christmas Songs

1. The Most Wonderful Time of the Year, by Andy Williams.    That song really is the most, man.  The MOST OBNOXIOUS.  Even if Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year, which, with all the stress and the travel and the lead-up is somewhat debatable in most families, this song makes me want to sulk in a corner wearing black lipstick, just to be contrary.   He really does sound like he's just got a full, open-mouth smile going the whole time.  Just like my dog.

2.  Mistletoe & Holly-- Frank Sinatra.  I'm including this one because every time I hear it, I think Frank Sinatra must have demanded extra money to sing a song this perky.  His voice is beautiful and classic as always-- I just don't think that old Frank with his hard-living ways was totally comfortable with the lyrics "Oh by gosh by jingle-- it's time for carols and Kris Kringle."  You know what I'm saying.  Stephan has a totally funny "alternate lyrics" version of this song that he sings every Christmas, which, shall we say, is probably more true to the late Mr. Sinatra's actual proclivities.  Yes, it involves ladies of the night.

3. Christmas Wrapping, by the Waitresses.  "You mean you forgot cranberries too?"
Let me just dispel this notion for you-- no, they are NEVER GOING TO STOP PLAYING THIS SONG ON THE RADIO DURING CHRISTMAS.   Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas....but I think I'll miss this one this year.   If this song isn't already stuck in your head, maybe you should go over here and read the lyrics.

4.  Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime, by (it hurts me to say this) Paul McCartney, during his Wings period.  Oh, man-- ease off the throttle, Paul!  Is this the same man who gave us  "Hey Jude" and "Got to Get You Into My Life?"    The lyrics to this song sound like it was written at gunpoint, in five minutes.  By Yoko Ono.   

5.  Jingle Bell Rock-- Stephan added this one, and I think it's appropriate.  This song was written in the 50's, perhaps as a backlash to the "new rock and roll," but I'm sorry, "dancing and prancing in the frosty air...in Jingle Bell Square," is just that-- square.  Not hip.  Not new.  Not in box. 

6.   Barbra Streisand performing "Jingle Bells," perhaps on speed.   This is like the Jewish performance art version of Jingle Bells.  Or maybe she's trying to make us hate Christmas.....  I'm not quite sure, but it's actually pretty funny now.

7.  Feliz Navidad, by Jose Feliciano.  Not only is this a terrible song, but I just don't believe the sentiment behind it.    I don't believe he wants to wish me a merry Christmas from the bottom of his heart--- I really don't.   Made even worse by the fact that Celine Dion did a cover of this song-- a fact I just learned, and now wish with all my heart I could forget. 

8.  Barking "Jingle Bells."  Really?  This is what we find funny these days?  I am proud to say I've never heard this song.

9.  Sorry, I am really not a fan of the "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" song, though I am happy for the guys who wrote it, because it still gets played so much I bet that's a nice hunk of residual change.  Still, too on the nose, too hokey, just too....

10. Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree.  Too perky!  "We'll be dancing merrily in the new old-fashioned way" is one of many bad lyrics, and the ending is so over the top, it makes me embarrassed to be alive. 

Comments

[Brandi McKay]

Thanks for the shout out! : ) See you tomorrow!